Should We Call it Piano ‘Practice’?
Parent telling unhappy child to ‘go practice.’
What picture does the word ‘practice’ bring to mind for you of what a music student does at home outside of lesson time? What if the word ‘practice’ is conjuring up a picture of what we hope for kids to do at the piano that isn’t really quite right for their age and level?
I’ve been thinking about the word ‘practice’ this week and wondering what would a parent picture in their mind if they tell their child to ‘go practice.’ If you are a parent of a piano student, I think it’s worth thinking about what you imagine practice to be for your child at the age they are at currently. In college I legit practiced around 28 hours a week - by myself in practice rooms about the size of a closet sometimes without AC (we walked to school uphill both ways in the snow too - just kidding, I’m not that old)! I was putting in the long hours and working hard to improve all kinds of musical skills that were relevant to my goals - that kind of practice was warranted then! I’m not so sure though if that kind of self-disciplined practice is exactly the best picture for what we are asking children to do at home with the piano when they are very young. Especially when children don’t yet know enough about music (or practice) to really be able to apply it at home. Certainly most kids aren’t going to work on their own at something that does not yet feel that easy to do!
While I was thinking about this, I did a bit of a search online to see if I could find anyone else thinking about whether the word practice isn’t possibly hurting our piano student’s success and motivation (not to mention frustrating parents). I found this article, whose author articulated my feelings about this pretty well:
“Sometimes the verb practicing can feel heavy, and can signal to your child that you want them to do “work”. Some kids may feel overwhelmed already by the homework they are given at school. The next time you want your child to practice piano, why not ask them to play the piano? This simple rephrasing could be a positive way to get your child playing the piano more frequently. Treat the piano like a cool toy that they can play with. It’s a start!” (Quoted from: https://helpwevegotkids.com/national/article/classes-programs/5-ways-to-make-piano-practice-fun/ )
This past week, as one parent and child were heading out of a lesson, the mother made the comment that one way she gets her child interested in playing the piano at home is that the mom goes over and starts playing on it herself! Then her child will often come over to see what’s going on and ends up playing too. I love that! I enthusiastically told this parent that she is ‘Right on track!’ Eventually we may be looking to develop the child’s practice sessions a bit more, but this is really a good start that engages with the child’s current level of motivation and interest.
Now I realize that lots of parents do not play the piano and they don’t need to in order to help inspire their child to play (or ‘practice’). There are other ways that you the parent can spark interest in your child playing the piano at home that might get better results than just saying ‘go practice’ (or leaving it entirely up to the teacher to motivate at home practice while your child also has access at home to a bunch of other toys and devices and screens that don’t require much effort to be entertaining).
As adults we can make the mistake of interpreting piano practice in ways that aren’t going to actually be effective for the typical child. Playing music is fun, but it also isn’t as easy or instantly gratifying as videogames or toys where the push of a button creates a range of sounds and lights and colors and movement. A child isn’t necessarily going to be drawn to do the work of practice at their current age and level. That’s not odd for their age and it definitely doesn’t mean your child isn’t interested in playing or not gifted musically! Every week in the studio, my elementary aged students express real delight in the music they are learning in their lessons. I’ve seen truly ecstatic outbursts from students as they react to the fact that they can play a song that we just did some work on. There definitely is inherent interest in music in all of these kids - but it doesn’t mean they will just go ‘practice’ at home! They are still beginners and they may feel less confident on their own. As a teacher I work hard to give the students those skills, but it takes time. Music is complex and is a language of its own both aurally and from a notation standpoint - and that’s not even factoring in how the child is handling the physical aspects of playing or where their developmental skills are.
Going back to the parent who told me this week that she gets her child over to the piano by playing it some herself – what I love is that mom is not putting an expectation on the child to go sit down by herself for ‘x’ number of minutes and do her ‘assignments’ without any parent involvement at all. Instead she is developing a natural love of music as an enjoyable activity for herself and her child.
If you want a child to attain even a basic level of skill on an instrument, then I would encourage you to think of this as a long-game and that in the early stages, as the teacher works to equip students with necessary skills to play, you the parent are working on building a love for playing music at home.
If you are a parent without musical training can still do a lot to help your child without playing the instrument yourself. If you are struggling to get your child to the kind of practice that has been what you have pictured practice to be, maybe think about adjusting your mental picture of what piano practice is for a season. Perhaps, instead of asking your child to practice, ask your child to play a song for you that they really like. If your child resists that request, it might be that they are thinking of something else that they want to do at that moment – don’t give up, try asking again at other times. It might be that your child isn’t yet sure if they are going to be able to replicate at home what they did in the studio (there’s lots to learn starting off and motivation will increase as a sense of competency increases, which takes time). What else can you do to get your child to play for you? Look at the assignments for the past 1-3 weeks. Sometimes your child will be less confident about the current week’s songs since they are new. (Recent assignments that are not from the current week’s lesson notes, that have previously been solidly learned in the past couple of weeks are a good starting place for your child to feel more confident at home about what they know if you ask them to play a song). Get your child’s books and open them up to one of those songs listed on the assignments or lesson notes. Then start asking the child questions about it! With the book open, ask “What does this sound like? Can you show me?” or “Where do you put your fingers?” “How do you know where to put your fingers? What tells you that?” or if you can think of nothing else, just read the words of the song to the child, think about the pictures and sing and clap along to the backing track if there is one. If you the parent express real enthusiasm for sharing the joy of music at this stage – no matter what it is! - you are moving your child in the direction of loving music and potentially to love even disciplined practice at music. Then, parents, keep that praise and encouragement going over the long-haul, once or twice is not enough encouragement at this age.
When your child plays something for you, try not to give a lot of criticism or feedback about wrong notes or rhythms at this stage, unless the child specifically asks you for help or expresses that they aren’t sure about something. (Your child is getting lots of feedback and correction at their lessons and will gradually learn what is expected). Rather than critiquing – see your role as more of an encourager and music enthusiast.
Focus on your own love of music and growing that in your family – and really relish finding the joy of what your child can do right. Those are the things that might be the spark that gets your child motivated to practice when they are ready to be a bit more disciplined about what practice is. If these are new ideas for you – try them out for a few weeks (with kids, sometimes we have to try things a few times before they ‘bite’!) You might see some new momentum going at home with the piano. And when and if you find something is working– don’t stop doing what you are doing! Keep on encouraging that love of music!
A piano student in first grade engaging with ‘I Love Coffee’ from Piano Safari through play. She enthusiastically asked to learn Part 1 and Part 2 when I first approached the song playfully and imaginatively in a way she would enjoy.
